Death Dreams

Ever dreamt of death?

I have.

Well, it is not the sort of thing to talk about proudly but I have. I guess it is sort of nightmare but it is not an ordinary nightmare. Someone close to me died in the dream and when I woke up, I was really glad that it was just a dream. But the intense feeling of losing someone was so bad that I had to cry it out when I woke up. I had to let the tears run so the pain is released. This dream happened twice, once while I was still studying in Australia almost 10 years ago and another occurred just two days back.

10 years ago, I dreamt my mother passed away in my arms after a road accident. I was holding her bloody lifeless body in my arms and the feeling of helplessness was magnified by being at the site of the accident. I cried in the dream and I cried when I woke up. A few days ago, I dreamt that I received news that Tsem Rinpoche passed away and I was unable to see him for the last time. I couldn’t go and see him anymore. The intense feelings of loss, regret and pain overwhelmed me. The desolation of death was pretty intense. I woke up feeling glad that it was just a dream but the vividness of the dream compeled me to weep a little.

I was told that death dreams are actually an auspicious omen for impending wealth. When I heard that, I realized there is a correlation or it could be just a coincidence. Whatever it is, it was not an easy dream. What lingers after that is the feeling that the dream might come true sooner than I think. I shudder at that thought.